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6 Amazing Tips to Figure Out What Diamond Ring She Wants

By Mike Fried,

Whether you’re planning an intimate engagement or one on the jumbo screen at a baseball game, it’s important to have a pulse on what type of ring she actually wants—especially if it’s going to be a surprise. Luckily, there are a few ways to decipher her ring style and expectations.

After this reading this article, you’ll have methods to determine:

With these tips in mind, you’ll be able to purchase a ring that meets or surpasses her vision. Ultimately, the ring you choose is a symbol of your love and commitment. Taking the time to learn about her style and diamond rings in general will give you a head start on a beautiful life together.

Bottom Line Recommendation:

Gathering information about what type of ring she wants (i.e. the setting, style, a diamond vs. a gemstone) will help immensely in your search for an engagement ring. Follow our expert tips in the guide below to visualize the ring of her dreams. Once you have a vision, look at jewelry from top vendors like James Allen, Blue Nile and Brian Gavin Diamonds. These vendors are the most reputable and reliable, and offer the best value and beauty for your budget. 

To help you with the diamond buying process we lean on our expertise and experience. The author of this article, our CEO, Mike Fried has over 20 years of experience in the diamond industry. Mike started from the bottom, sorting and evaluating hundreds of thousands of diamonds to learn every facet (pun intended) of diamond quality and value. Mike followed that up by spending years buying and selling diamonds on the wholesale market as well as selling tens of millions of dollars worth of diamonds to diamond retailers.

Tip #1: Pay Close Attention to Her Style

Like a detective, you can pick up details about your fiancé-to-be by keeping a close eye on her wardrobe, jewelry and other accessories. Don’t be afraid to keep notes and ideas in an organized place like a notebook or spreadsheet.

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While fashion evaluation isn’t a science, watch for these common patterns:

Tip #2: Utilize the Internet

Many women (and men) have stored loads of information online—readily available for anyone to see. Pinterest accounts are a great place to start investigating, where she’s potentially saved engagement ring examples.

If you can’t find rings specifically, check out her other posts and images to see if they offer you clues about her style. Simply enter her name or username into the Pinterest search engine and you’ll have access to her dreams and visions.

Tip #3: Involve the Women Closest to Her

Lean on the ladies who are closest to your fiancé-to-be: her mom, sister, best friend, cousin, whoever. Chances are your significant other has shared with them her desires or preferences for a ring. If they don’t know, you can have them bring up the conversation in a casual manner, such as, “Do you think he’s going to propose soon?” or “If he were to propose, what would you want?” Slowly easing into the conversation will make her less suspicious that you’ve put her up to the task.

You can even ask her mom or one of her friends to shop with you. Women are often skilled at narrowing down styles, especially if they know the person well. But be sure to be discrete in your meetings. She shouldn’t be clued in to the fact that you’re spending one-on-one time with your future mother-in-law.

Tip #4: Analyze Her Other Jewelry

You can discern quite a few clues from the jewelry in her current collection. Does she wear silver-colored necklaces? Does she have rings and bracelets in yellow gold? Do her pieces tend to be classic with diamonds and pearls or ones with colored gemstones? Does she have a birthstone, specific shape of diamond or other favorite jewelry feature you could take note of? You can even pretend you’re thinking of buying her a bracelet or a set of earrings, and see if you can glean information about the type of metal or settings she prefers.

You can also find out clues from jewelry other women have received. For example, if a recent Facebook friend got engaged, bring it up nonchalantly in conversation. Try to include a question regarding if she liked the ring. You’ll get some key information about the proposal she might envision, and type of ring she likes or doesn’t like.

Tip #5: Consider “Just Browsing”

If you two happen to be in a mall or pass by a jewelry store, stop in and tell her you’re just browsing. This will of course clue her in to the fact that you might propose, but if you’re casual enough, she might not get too suspicious. You can gain valuable information just by noticing what rings she gravitates toward.

We always recommend buying the ring alone, and better yet, online. When it comes to closely analyzing a ring and determining your budget, you want to do this in private. Buying the ring in secret also lets the proposal be more of a surprise, even if she does have a clue that you’re thinking about popping the question.

Tip #6: Ask her!

If you’ve tried the methods above, and you feel that a surprise engagement ring is not your style (or hers), then feel free to ask her directly about what she’s hoping for. From the type of gemstone (diamond or otherwise) to the setting color to the overall style, you’ll have all of the specs to go on.

From there, the ring design and selection can be your own, if you want. She’ll be wearing the ring for the rest of her life, so follow her leads. Overall, do what’s comfortable for you and what you think she’ll most appreciate.

If you do ask her for details on what she wants, you’ll need to defer to those preferences. Even if it’s not your style or preference, you should stick with what she has told you. Although you’re paying for the ring, she’s the one that it’s ultimately for.

Figuring Out Her Ring Size

Now that you have the insider tips for determining the type of ring she wants, be sure you choose the right size. Read our article here about how to determine her perfect ring size.

James Allen James Allen is the leader in online diamond sales. Their imaging technology is the same as inspecting a diamond with a jeweler's loupe. They have the largest exclusive loose diamond inventory online and fantastic prices. They also have the nicest collection of lab-created diamonds online.
What we love about them:
  • No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. James Allen will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
  • Lifetime Warranty
  • Free International Shipping
  • Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
  • Provide insurance appraisals
  • One free resizing within 60 days of purchase
  • Free ring inscriptions
  • Best-in-class high quality imagery of all diamonds in stock
  • 24/7 Customer Service
  • Best-in-class packaging
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Blue Nile Blue Nile is the largest and most well known internet jewelry seller. They have a very large exclusive online inventory. Their high quality images are catching up to James Allens' and their prices are amazing.Save 25% on settings at Blue Nile!

Please enter your email address to receive your 25% off coupon code:

What we love about them:
  • No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. Blue Nile will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
  • Lifetime Warranty
  • Free Shipping
  • Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
  • Provide insurance appraisal
  • One free resizing within the first year of purchase
  • High quality images of about half of their diamonds
  • 24/7 Customer Service
  • 100% credit towards future upgrades (must be at least double in value)
  • Best in class fulfillment
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About the author

Mike Fried Mike Fried Mike Fried has over 25 years experience in the diamond industry working with Leo Schachter Diamonds, Moshe Namdar Diamonds, and joining The Diamond Pro in 2007. He is recognized as an industry expert and has been quoted in publications such as Us, People, Page Six, The Next Web and more.

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