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Engagement Rings for Same Sex Couples

By Mike Fried,

So you’ve found the love of your life, and you’re ready to say yes to forever together. Congratulations! Now what? Who proposes to who? Do you both get a ring? Is it something you decide on as a couple, or does it need to be a surprise?

It can be confusing to navigate the waters of proposal, engagement, and marriage, and as a same sex couple, you might wonder if the same rules apply, or if there are totally different rules. As exciting as it is to get married, there’s no doubt it can be overwhelming to keep track of all the etiquette when it comes to engagement and wedding planning, but remember this: the way that you and your partner choose to celebrate your love is an expression of who you are as individuals and as a couple, so let that be your guiding light, rather than feeling like you need to somehow learn and follow the rules of traditional proposal and engagement. The act of a proposal is an opportunity to declare your love for your partner, and make them feel adored, desired, and special. 

Same sex hands with engagement ring

If you want to be proposed to, it’s absolutely okay to communicate that to your partner! Especially if you have already discussed the possibility of marriage, open up the conversation and share your feelings and dreams about proposal and engagement, and give your partner a chance to share their feelings, too. Maybe you both dream of being proposed to, or maybe one of you is hoping to be the one to do the proposing. Ultimately, who proposes to who has a lot more to do with personality and the dynamic of your unique relationship than it has to do with rules and etiquette, so don’t be stifled by popular opinion or the constraints of tradition. Do it your way, because you’re the one who knows your partner best. Here are a few options and ideas to consider as you plan your engagement. 

Surprise proposal

Does your partner love surprises? A surprise proposal is a beautiful way of showing your love. It is easier to pick an engagement ring and pull off a surprise proposal if you feel that you know your partner’s personal style pretty well. Of course, if you want to plan a surprise proposal but you’re not totally sure what kind of ring they’ll like, you can enlist the help of your partner’s best friends, siblings or parents- anyone you feel knows your partner’s taste and preferences and can help you make a confident decision.

Same Sex Couple proposal engagement ring
Proposing with a gorgeous 4ct cushion cut diamond solitaire engagement ring

Decide together

There are plenty of reasons why you and your partner might prefer to choose an engagement ring (or rings!) together. For one thing, it’s a good way of making sure your partner really loves the ring you choose. It can also be an incredibly special bonding experience to plan your engagement together. Planning your engagement and choosing to spend your lives together can be romantic and intimate with or without a big surprise proposal.

Matching rings

Especially if planning your engagement together, you might decide you want matching rings. Both partners donning a ring is gaining popularity in the LGBT community. Matching rings are a great option, and can be a symbol of unity and togetherness. On the other hand, if you and your partner have wildly different styles or personalities, it might be just as fun to pick rings that are complementary instead of matching, or perhaps two rings that are the exact opposites!

close up of male gay couple with wedding rings on
Matching wedding or engagement rings for two men

Diamond rings for men

Looking for a diamond engagement ring for your male partner? There are definitely some gorgeous diamond rings designed for men, like this amazing Tantalum 7.5mm Channel Set Diamond Satin Finished Comfort Fit Ring or this 14K White Gold 8mm Satin Finish Diamond Band from James Allen,. But don’t be afraid to check out the “women’s ring” section, too. You don’t have to feel limited by the label if you see something you love. If the ring fits, wear it!

Channel Set Diamond Wedding Ring
Channel set diamond wedding ring with 7 round cut diamond from James Allen


There are some stunning alternatives to a classic diamond engagement ring. Does your other half love to stand out from the crowd? Consider choosing a ring that reflects your love’s style and personality. As the New York Times reported recently, many same sex couples deliberately opt to forego the classic white diamond for a sapphire, opal or something equally unique and interesting.

A stunning gemstone ring like this Cushion London Blue Topaz and Aquamarine Trillion Ring from Blue Nile is glamorous and special, perfect for someone who loves a little more color, and can’t wait to show off their new bling. 

Another way to mix things up is to go for colored diamonds or black diamonds. Black diamonds are really popular these days, and there are more options than ever to choose from. This ​​Black Tungsten Carbide 8MM Comfort Fit Band By TRITON is so chic, and has just enough sparkle, but is still subtle and classic. 

Double Row Pavé Pink Sapphire Ring
Double row pavé pink sapphire ring in rose gold from James Allen

You might also think about presenting an eternity ring instead of a ring with a center stone. This timeless and iconic 14K Yellow Gold Milgrain Embellished Diamond Eternity Ring from James Allen is a flawless choice. You could also choose a beautiful gemstone eternity ring like this 14K Rose Gold Double Row Pavé Pink Sapphire Ring which is both trendy and unique.

Do you have flawless taste and design sense? If you’re an artistic type, or you have a vision of the perfect ring, why not design your own? If you’re confident that you know your partner’s taste, you can design a ring for your partner, or you can design a ring (or rings) together. Both James Allen and Blue Nile offer the option to Build Your Own ring, allowing you to really customize the look you’re going for. This is also a great option if selecting the perfect diamond is a top priority for you.


Does your partner love a traditional diamond engagement ring? When in doubt, you can’t go wrong with a classic solitaire like this six -prong low dome comfort fit solitaire engagement ring from Blue Nile.

Six -Prong Yellow gold Solitaire Engagement Ring
Six -Prong yellow gold solitaire engagement ring with a round cut diamodn center

Is your love a lover of vintage? Consider something with delicate details like this beautiful Heirloom Petite Milgrain Engagement Ring from Blue Nile.

Whatever you choose, we always recommend going with reputable vendors, and doing research before making a decision. An engagement ring is an important purchase, and you will feel best about your choice if you are making an educated decision.

For more information on choosing a diamond or an engagement ring, check out our guides and education sections or feel free to reach out to us and one of our experts will happily help you out.

James Allen James Allen is the leader in online diamond sales. Their imaging technology is the same as inspecting a diamond with a jeweler's loupe. They have the largest exclusive loose diamond inventory online and fantastic prices. They also have the nicest collection of lab-created diamonds online.
What we love about them:
  • No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. James Allen will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
  • Lifetime Warranty
  • Free International Shipping
  • Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
  • Provide insurance appraisals
  • One free resizing within 60 days of purchase
  • Free ring inscriptions
  • Best-in-class high quality imagery of all diamonds in stock
  • 24/7 Customer Service
  • Best-in-class packaging
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Blue Nile Blue Nile is the largest and most well-known internet jewelry seller. They have a very large exclusive online inventory. Their high-quality images are catching up to James Allens' and their prices are amazing. 
What we love about them:
  • No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. Blue Nile will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
  • Lifetime Warranty
  • Free Shipping
  • Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
  • Provide insurance appraisal
  • One free resizing within the first year of purchase
  • High quality images of about half of their diamonds
  • 24/7 Customer Service
  • 100% credit towards future upgrades (must be at least double in value)
  • Best in class fulfillment
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